


Culinary Adventures of the 104th Battalion

by Starofwinter



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Gen, Humor, Sinker is a terrible influence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-06 19:51:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11043150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starofwinter/pseuds/Starofwinter
Summary: It's well-known among the GAR that you should never, ever accept any food from the Wolfpack that isn't in an unopened package.  This is why.





	Culinary Adventures of the 104th Battalion

**Author's Note:**

> Fang belongs to Marloviandevil!

“You hit it, you should be the one to clean it.”

“I must’ve missed the lessons on field dressing… whatever that is.”

“It’s made out of meat, so… it must be edible, right?”

“Fuck if I know.”

“Well…  we’re almost out of rations.  I mean, it’s _there_ , so we might as well use it.” 

“It’s sort of exploded.”

“Call it tenderized.  After it’s cooked up, nobody’ll know the difference.”

* * *

 

“What the fuck are you two  _ di’kute _ standing around for?  And what the fuck is that?”

“It’s a-”

“Com’ika here went hunting, sir.  With the tank.”

“With the tank.”

“Yessir.  With the tank.  And he found us a, uh, a wild Geep, sir.”

“A Geep.  Sinker, what the kriffing hells is a Geep?”

“Wildlife, sir.  He’s gonna cook it up for us.”

“I didn’t-”

“Kid’s a regular Coruscanti chef, he says.”

“I didn’t say that!”

“That a fact?  Alright, pup, let’s see what you can do.”

“Sir, I didn’t-”

“General called a rest for the night anyway, might as well get some food in while we can.  I’d suggest you don’t tell the medics we’re having Geep though, they get picky about anything that’s not rations when we’re in the field.”

“Commander-” 

* * *

 

“We don’t have anything to start a fire, you know that, right?”

“Blaster fuel will set just about anything off.”

“And probably poison us.”

“You saying we should eat Geep tartare, Comet?”

“ _ Fine _ , I’ll use the  _ fuckin’ _ blaster fuel.”

“Good man.  I’ll be over here, just in case you use too much and blow yourself to nine hells.”

“ _Sinker-_ ” 

* * *

 

“You know, this isn’t half bad, pup.  I really doubted you at first, but you did a damn good job.”

“No thanks to you.”

“Aww, c’mon now, there’s no need to be like that.  It was just a little fun.”

“You threw me under the speeder!”

“Nah, that was what _you_ did to the Geep.”  

* * *

 

“You did  _ what _ ?   Do you  _ know _ the kinds of diseases you could pick up like that?  You idiots are lucky you just got food poisoning!  We don’t even have antidotes for half the shit you could have picked up from that!  And of course you didn’t think to  _ ask your damn medics _ if maybe, just maybe, eating something you  _ hit with a tank and cooked over blaster fuel _ could make you sick?”

“Fang, listen.   _ It was all Comet’s idea. _ ”

“Sinker, I fucking hate you.”


End file.
